By Kathi Seay, AKA Mama Seay.
Well, Patriots, we should all be glad that Mama Seay has a long commute. From time to time her musings in the midst of traffic inspire her to share some experience-honed wisdom with us. We’re calling these posts the Traffic Survey series. This time the topic is apologies–how to make them, how to receive them, and the danger of taking up an offense that isn’t yours. Let us know your response in the comments section! ~ Lt. Gov. Nicholson
Introduction:
My home is in Georgetown. My vocation is in the state Capitol. That is 30.5 miles of travel each way on one of the most congested freeways in the nation. Or, as I like to refer to it, an opportunity for a daily traffic survey. I have come to love my daily commute, as my vehicle often doubles as my prayer closet. This venue is to share some of the musings from my traffic surveys.
Apologies:
We have all made mistakes, done things we are sorry for and have had to make an apology.
Today the news is covered with the story of the man who drove through a Chick-fil-A and recorded himself being obnoxious to an employee who handled herself with dignity and grace. She has made national news as an example of how to treat others. He has made the national news as the man who was a total jerk and was fired for his actions.
There are three things to consider from this story:
1) How to make an apology.
I read an article that was discussing the situation and it included a link to a video apology that the man had made. Now, personally, if I have made a fool of myself on video I think I might consider grounding myself from that medium until a much later date for fear of making the matter worse. But, as the bystander who could not take their eye off of a train wreck, I chose to click the link to the video and see what the fool had to say.
I was surprised. He gave a heartfelt, sincere apology taking responsibility for his actions and making no excuses for them. He did not say, “I am sorry, but . . ..” (Adding “but” after an apology negates everything that came before it because it is an attempt to shift the blame for the wrongdoing from the individual who did it to someone or something else.) He affirmed the employee’s good manners and grace. He attempted to explain why he made the video as background information, not as an explanation for his misbehavior.
2) How to accept an apology.
As difficult as it is to be hurt by someone else, it is often even more difficult to forgive them. The employee in this instance had refused to see the individual in person the day after the video was made because of all of the publicity and turmoil that had been kicked up. I totally understand. She did, however view the apology video and offered her forgiveness for the offense. She has since agreed to meet with the offender. Both of them will learn from this experience. He from her grace and mercy. She from the understanding that through Christ we do have the capacity to forgive those who hurt us. Unforgiveness does not hurt the person who offended us. It only hurts the person who carries it around. Our sins are forgiven as we forgive others. Christ wasn’t kidding about that.
3) Picking up an offense on someone else’s behalf.
Perhaps one of the most surprising things to me was to read the vehement comments by those who profess to be Christian in response to both the original and apology videos. The testimony of those who write such comments does far more damage to the name of Christ than any gay rights’ activist could ever consider doing.
Was I offended by the way that the man treated the young woman in the video? Absolutely. But the more appropriate response might be to pray, “Lord, forgive him for he knows not what he does.”
Did I forgive him for his actions? Actually, that was not my place. He did not attack me. He attacked the employee. She forgave him. Their business was complete. For me to continue to hold a grudge, be offended, or have my feelings hurt would actually be a reflection on things in my own life that need to be addressed. Get the log out of your own eye before you worry about the splinter in someone else’s.
And now, going from preaching to meddling, let’s apply this same message to the election process. In politics there are winners and losers. There are people who act inappropriately, unprofessionally, and downright rude. There are people who lie and people who repeat the lies without even knowing they are slandering an individual. They do it in all sincerity, but they remain sincerely wrong.
BEWARE OF PICKING UP AN OFFENSE ON SOMEONE ELSE’S BEHALF.
The Lord will give grace to the individual who is truly offended to deal with it. It is much more difficult to let an offense go when it is against another person for whom you care deeply or for whom you worked relentlessly. That is why campaigns can often be more difficult for families and campaign workers than the actual candidates.
Let me share a little life experience with you. The Lord will require you to forgive. It is much easier to recognize when you are about to pick up an offense and just choose not to go there.
